So my conversation went something like this…
Excited Student (showing me his smartphone screen): “So what do you think of my girlfriend?”
Me: Wow! Very Nice! Where did you meet her?”
Excited Student: “Through Instagram.”
Me: “Through Instagram? You mean the app, right?”
Excited Student: “Yeah! She liked and commented on my photo’s and then we exchanged a few DM‘s“
Me: “Oh right! So how was the first date?”
Excited Student: “We haven’t been on one, I haven’t actually met her yet. “
Me: “You haven’t? But you’re in a relationship, right?”
Excited Student: “Yeah of course, she’s my girlfriend!”
And for the remainder of the conversation I was looking a little confused (but fascinated with a concept I never thought could become a mainstream reality) as this student was telling me how he was in a relationship with a women he had yet to physically meet and this was further confirmed by his Facebook status.
One of the greatest throw away lines in cinema from one of its worst films happens in Die Hard 4.0 (alternatively known as Live Free, Die Hard) where the villainous character Thomas Gabriel says to John McClane…
“John, you’re a Timex watch in a digital age.”
To be fair I see myself as a Casio digital watch because I embrace digital culture, but it takes a while to catch up with the latest technological, social advancements. That is not necessarily a bad thing but sometimes my (pre internet) frame of reference cannot always be applied to contemporary culture.
I don’t think attending a single sex male high school during my adolescence was good for me socially, it took a while for me to feel totally comfortable interacting with women, especially women I felt attracted to. It would take a while to build up the courage to reveal my romantic intentions, so in order to offset potential rejection, I made an effort to move into a treacherous place called the “friend zone” which would give me an opportunity to absorb every nuance of behaviour and attempt to gather evidence before I would make the play…
It was something I worked hard on and in the process I was developing the art of listening whilst paying attention to the smallest detail. These founding principles seemed to work pretty well and although on the outside I would give the illusion of cool confidence with a warm smile; on the inside my brain cells were frantically scrambling around trying to piece together any clue that could offer insight, not to mention my heart pounded faster than Barry Allen could run within the speed force.
Are the pupils in her eyes slightly dilated? Was she comfortable being tactile? Did she smell good? Is she comfortable giving me eye contact? Was I able to get her to laugh? Was she comfortable when I leaned into her personal space? Did she want to see me again?
A lot of my romantic interactions were grounded in a hazardous real world experience, and I would rely on every sense naturally available to me to interpret signs that would give me subtle permissions to venture out of the “friend zone” (a zone that you don’t want to get stuck in for too long!) and propel myself into relationship territory. Which didn’t always work, but admittedly achieved more success than failure…
Yet…
None of the skills I acquired over time would necessarily be relevant in an age where digital interaction is the mainstream melody of contemporary times…and I don’t knock it! If I could time travel into the past and drag my anxious 15 year old self into 2017 and show him that you can express an interest to the person of your dreams through the tap of an app (with accompanied emoji’s) it would have cut down half the work I had put into attracting the attractive…
Perhaps I’m just a little jealous? I would have saved quite a bit of money on over priced meals in over crowded restaurants, if I was able to claim to be in a relationship before I went on the date. It makes sense that technology in all its forms is utilised and absorbed to aid and assist romantic connections, can you imagine how revolutionary it was when the telephone was invented!? But no matter how fast or accessible technology becomes (I assume?) people will eventually need to meet up with the person they are going to enter into a relationship with and maybe even share the same physical space, so just maybe it’s a good idea to bank a few real world experiences…just in case?
Until next time.
Mmmm… it’s the eventual meeting up that’s the make or break, isn’t it? In my teens we had something similar: penfriends and sent photos. And when you met the boy or girl of your dreams (who couldn’t spell, smudged the ink, and forgot to put a stamp on the envelope meaning you had to pay excess…) you’d find someone who was just like everyone else: as nervous as shit as you were!
The ‘carrier’ of the info has changed but I don’t know that it has helped much. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
At least with pen pals you got to know a bit about the other person. But you’re right although the method changes, ultimately you’ll eventually have to sit down and interact in the same space. I just find it interesting that in some cases you sit in a room meeting someone for the first time with the title of “girlfriend/boyfriend” already attached.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think in the end you gotta do all the things you’ve mentioned either way! You need to prove yourself physcially and see if the match is mutual. I have dated guys from the internet and I have found that it wasn’t that much different to meeting guys in real life. I actually prefer meeting them in real life, for you don’t get yourself a wrong image of someone. The digital age is a good one, but it leaves a huge gap of social commumication – or so I have found.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a difficult situation because while I don’t knock people people who fall in love online, like you said I think at some point you have to get to know a person in a physical space sooner or later. Thanks for the comment, love your blog too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love this line:
“I see myself as a Casio digital watch because I embrace digital culture, but it takes a while to catch up with the latest technological, social advancements.”
At times I feel the same. It’s so crazy how much things like dating have changed since I did it. Tech has made it seem so simple yet has actually made it more complex because most people today don’t learn the interactive skills to make their relationship work from the start.
Also enjoyed the Flash reference haha.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, I hope the digital age doesn’t stop people from developing very important social interactive skills. Not many people got the Flash reference! 😄😄😄
LikeLiked by 2 people
Tyrone, I’ve nominated you for a Versatile Blogger award. Congrats! To accept, simply do a post along the lines of the one found here: https://homewithpeanut.wordpress.com/2017/06/04/my-versatile-blogger-award/
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for nominating me! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are welcome 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really enjoyed reading this Tyrone!
LikeLike
Thank you so much, I enjoyed writing it, I also enjoy your blog very much! Thank you for your kind words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!! I will definetly read your post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Came here as a direct result of your recent decision to follow Learning from Dogs. Thank you so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Debatably Dateable.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my!
Call me old fashioned, but I think we live in “nonsense world”…
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! I agree, I think it’s still very important to meet people in person.
LikeLike
Okay, before o get into my reaction, I have to say that I am quite pleased with myself as I was able to grasp every pop culture reference you dropped in this. Same goes with the “Stranger Things” reference in “If I can’t breath…” Post. Lol.
Okay, to continue…
I’m still blown away by the amount of people whose minds are blown at the thought of online dating. It’s kinda like Kwanzaa. A holiday that my family and I have celebrated since I was little is still wildly unknown to mainstream folks and is such a huge part of my life.
But I love how you state the one fact that, as someone in an online relationship, must face… It will not last if you cannot meet in person. We as humans have evolved, sure, but we still have those basic instincts to be around other humans. We are social beings by nature, there is no way for a relationship to thrive without being physical.
I love this! Good stuff.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not everyone gets the references I make! 😂😂😂 I agree with you though, it’s amazing that people act surprised at the idea of online dating, when most people are doing it.
I’ll confess that I do wish I had more experience of online dating, but I guess I’ll have to live it through other people’s blogs. 😊 😊 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahaha. Maybe it’s the nerd in me, but I make it my personal mission to get references. Lol.
You wish??? Not too many people wish it as it is quite complicated. But then I guess all relationships are.
Hopefully my blog will teach you a thing or two.😉 In the mean time, I’ll continue to enjoy reading your experiences. Lol.
LikeLike