At this present moment in time I have no real life daughters, so oftentimes what happens is, I create hypothetical situations, where my fictional daughter would freely come to me for advice and willingly absorb the knowledge from my words of wisdom. In a similar way that Scout Finch would openly ask her father Atticus, questions in To Kill A Mockingbird to gain deeper understanding and meaning.
My imaginary scenario involves my daughter turning to me and asking me the question that plaques the soul of anyone who wants to gauge if that special someone swims in the same pool of reciprocal feeling. My imaginary daughter would ask the same question that legendary pop sensation Whitney Houston herself once pondered and sang with such soul…
“How will I know if he really loves me?”
It would be at this moment I slowly turn toward my fictional daughter with a smug smile and gleefully utter six life changing words…
“If he makes himself willingly available”
Anyone who has ever attempted to engage in any kind of romantic endeavour knows that new relationships are similar to eating spaghetti bolognese from a small plate; it’s not the easiest task to undertake and no matter how hard you try things will inevitably get a little messy. Especially during the early “getting to know you” stages; but a sure sign of interest is if a person wants to get to know you better and makes an effort to find the time.
We all know this world can be a dark and crazy place but the one thing I have realised about our species, is that if we really want to do something (and I mean really want to do something) we will always find a way to do it. If throughout history mankind has somehow managed to climb every mountain or ford every stream then it really shouldn’t be too much trouble to spend a little time with that special someone…right?
It’s easy for me to lean into my lazy Snoop Dogg Sunday, sipping on gin and juice (that is to say grated ginger and orange juice?) in my mature, casual laid back state of mind and blog about these issues, but this entry is like my body back in 2003 in that it carries extra weight. Back when I was first attempting to wade in the waters of dating and relationships I (yup! Little ol’ me) was that unavailable man; always a little difficult to reach, could never quite commit to a time or a place and was responsible for more last minute cancellations than an airport in a snowstorm…
There were numerous reasons for my behaviours, and to be fair, sometimes there were genuine circumstances that made me a little elusive. The crushed ice and lemon twist in this tale was that if an individual secured my romantic affections, the precious and rare limited resource known as “time” suddenly turned into something that flowed in abundance…
After a long day at work, I found the energy and even if I couldn’t make a particular secret rendezvous, you could be damn sure there was no mountain high enough or river wide enough to stop me from securing another time and date for the next meeting because I would willingly do what I could to make myself available to that special someone…
So if you are in a situation where you are contemplating whether a relationship is suited to your individual needs accessibility to that special someone should be one of the first things on your checklist. Are you able to stay overnight? Have you met friends or family members? Must you always meet at specific times? Or are you almost always pushed to the back of the queue due to various commitments?
A cautionary sprinkling of reality must be applied, the demands of modern life are demanding, so naturally there are times when time and space are a necessary respite, but this isn’t a relationships/dating advice blog, I’m pretty sure you can find countless experts, relationship counsellors, therapists and psychologists who could give you a whole host of sophisticated signs to spot to see if a person is really as “into you” as Arianna Grande suggests, but for me it will always come back to availability, as if a person cannot make any time for you then are they really worth your time?
Until next time.
Oh wow beautifully written and snap love the way you just write about what you believe rather than what others do. My sentiments exactly….not trying to be an expert, just simply growing and evolving and sharing through your passion…writing! Excellent 🌻🌻🌻
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That means so much coming from you 😊 I learned a lot from a great teacher called “life” 😂
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You so welcome and you right, life is surely out greatest teacher 😆
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Excellent advice. If you had a daughter, she’d appreciate those words of wisdom. Hope you and yours are well after today’s events.
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Thanks. Funny thing was I wrote this post just after coming back from Central London. Posted my blog and saw the sad news 😔 it’s a sad day for the city but fortunately everyone I know is safe. Thank you for your kind words of concern.
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Yeah, you’re quite right. Another way of putting it is that person has to be willing to be there for you. For the little things as well as the big.
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Exactly! If they can’t commit to that simple principle, then that’s not a good sign.
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This is so simple yet mind blowing. In my younger days I chased so many love interests who didn’t have time for me to always thought if I just tried harder the feelings would be returned. If only I had been able to read this post back then!
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It has taken me quite a while to figure out myself! I have to admit I was guilty of this, always being difficult to reach but then finding time when I really wanted to be with a person. Thanks for the comment, it’s genuinely appreciated 😊😊😊
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Reblogged this on Debatably Dateable and commented:
Our first day of Project LoveFest in November kicks off with this great article from Tryone!!
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Cool! Thank you so much 😊
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