I was in a sleep deprived state, when I returned to work and was greeted with an all consuming, high energy enthusiasm of a casual work colleague and our conversation went something like this…
Excitable work colleague: “She’s ADORABLE!”
Bewildered, sleep deprived me: “Oh…err…thank you?”
Excitable work colleague: “Her eyes are so big, and she has so much hair”
Bewildered, sleep deprived me: “Yes…she does.”
Excitable work colleague: “I love the picture of the cute pink outfit she is wearing, you know the one? The one where she is sitting in her car seat, it’s just soooooo cute!
I only had three hours of low grade, broken sleep the night before, so it took all the energy I had to stay engaged, as I tried to stay focused for the remainder of the conversation. In my sleep deprived state, I could only muster a weary smile; as her words merged into a stream of inaudible sound, although what happened next instantly knocked the lethargy right out of me…
To reinforce the point of how cute she found the newest addition of my collective, my excitable work colleague pulled out her phone and showed me a picture of the very image she was describing. She wasn’t scrolling through her newsfeed either; the image of my child was stored on her mobile device.
Let me be clear, I didn’t feel offended in any way, shape or formation, as I understood her intention but the situation was a little curious. In that moment, I wondered how she would have felt if I had done the same thing? Would she be okay if I had pictures of her daughters on my phone? Or is it perfectly acceptable to have imagery of other children if they are less than three months old?
It dawned on me just how much access perfect strangers have to the content shared via social media, as it is probably easier now to access the online content of others, then at anytime in human history.
At this point, it’s totally cool to disapprovingly shake your head and perhaps say to yourself…
“Oh Tyrone! Have you been living under the shadow of a rock, thrown into the Mariana Trench? Are you not aware of just how integral digital technology has become in our daily lives?”
Yeah, I am…
But I was raised in the era of the “physical photo album” and during that time when a new arrival was born you usually had to go to the parent’s home (or perhaps a close relative) to look through a collection of photographs that had been developed from their camera negatives or at the very least you had to be loosely associated with the person who had the photographs.
It’s still a little odd to me that I can post an image of my bundle of sleep deprivation and joy and not only can immediate family and friends access and/or download the images, but friends of their friends of their friends of their friends can access the same content.
The tech savvy among you, may sigh with a mild irritation and think to yourself “All you have to do is adjust your privacy settings!” But that still doesn’t eradicate the ability of getting access to shared content. If I adjust my privacy settings to allow Juliet personal access to what I post on Facebook that doesn’t stop Romeo from browsing through her mobile device.
It doesn’t stop ex-boyfriend/girlfriend curiosity, it doesn’t stop the work associate whom you hardly know browsing through your holiday pictures, it doesn’t stop an apps insatiable appetite to be granted permission to access your photo’s, it doesn’t stop cloud services on your device backing up images you thought you’d deleted and seemingly it doesn’t stop people feeling it’s totally okay to store pictures of children they find adorable.
I don’t want this post to create any unnecessary paranoia, panic, or pandemonium. I’m not suggesting we all want to be Darth Vader attempting to manipulate the dark side of the force… but what do you do when the gift of digital technical advancement is also, the curse?
In a modern culture where the symbiotic social and digital world increasingly feed off one another for survival and encourage us all to share more and more aspects of our daily lives.
But whatever way I attempt to slice the inviting piece of this pie, it ultimately comes down to ownership and responsibility. If I’m going to post anything then it has to be something that won’t embarrass or humiliate me. I could have spoken directly to my work college and asked her to delete the image, but how many others could have done the same? It’s a mission that’s impossible to know, because the situation is a needle in a digital haystack.
So I have come to the realisation, there are no concrete rules in this jungle of digital engagement. There are some things I can’t control, all I can do is make a conscious effort to take personal accountability for images and content I choose to share.
Until next time.
This is one of my bugbears about the internet and social sharing sites… too much out there and nothing can be done about it because people often don’t realise what they are doing with other people’s lives… (which is really what it is.) Google is forever… ‘cos most things in public get into its cache and it’s damn difficult getting them out of it.
That said, I used to worry about some things that don’t bother me as much anymore because of the way other people’s attitudes are changing. For instance, it used to worry the hell out of me when people posted photos of their kids and talked about their antics, I’d think “when that kid grows up, it’ll be embarrassment all round” but now those kids are growing up and they really aren’t bothered because this exposure is what they are used to. In a way, we’re propelling them into some kind of fame in the so-called ordinary world. But I’m a dinosaur – I still don’t want to put personal stuff ‘out there’ for everyone to find or know.
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I agree Val, sometimes I just forget just how instant it can all be. Like you say though, for current and future generations it’ll just become the norm…
I sort of have a love/dislike relationship with social media, but I’m glad I experienced a time when I had to go to Boots and wait over 20 minutes for my camera negatives to be developed 😂😂😂
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I try to think about this as well when posting videos and pictures, because it is true, we are accountable for what we post on social media and the web, and now a days anyone can access your information with a click. I like to think that the majority of people don’t care enough to keep anything I post but we can’t always be sure who is lurking and maybe testing the waters or who is wandering our social outlets and willing to use our pictures as a means to humiliate or even possibly obsess over. Technology is only becoming more advanced day by day, I can see many more possibilities arising, nothing that doesn’t scare me.
Shay-lon
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It’s a gift and a curse Shay-lon! I don’t think it’s dangerous, I think it’s amazing we all get to experience each other through social media. It’s just that for me I forget how instant/fast content can be shared…and while I have a few concerns…I wouldn’t change it! 😊😊😊 I love what you share Shay-lon, it’s always positive and your discipline and work ethic is incredible 👏 👏 👏
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Thank you Ty 🙂
I guess when I think of the danger of this, I think my youngest brother who is 9 years of age, an age where they fall victim to social media platforms in a negative or positive way and while my mom is sure to not allow him to create accounts on places such as FB or IG, I know as he gets older those things will be a thing of the past and something better or worse will come from them, I just hope his generation makes them into technology that isn’t corrupt 🙂
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Ahhhh… exactly. Just make sure whatever is posted is not something you don’t want the entire world to have access to as there is no such thing as privacy on the internet… or in text… or in email… 😁
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Yeah, it’s a bit surreal at times, just how fast content can be distributed. I just have to be more aware of sharing public and private moments…fortunately I grew up in an time before the digital age! 😊😊😊
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I think we are too much in each others lives. It freaked me out to think that someone out there actually has my photos in their phone!
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It is a little strange to think that someone I’ll never know may have pictures of me on their device!
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This is exactly why I don’t share sh*t. Lol. I don’t have a Facebook, Twitter, instagram, or Snapchat account. My blog is completely anonymous and I don’t post any pictures of my self on any social platform. Why? Because I’ve never felt the need to connect intimately with people I don’t know.
I don’t mind socializing a bit. But I definitely don’t need the world to wish me a happy birthday or like (or dislike) pictures of me and my family.
I enjoy creating meaningful relationships. So the idea of having thousands of “friends” is insane to me. I know I’m probably the only one in my mid-twenties who feels this way, lol, but I just don’t understand the point of those platforms.
If I need to meet people, I do it where people can be real and meaningful, like someone’s personal blog. Doesn’t get more real than that.
So I get how you feel. Yes, we are too connected. WAAAAYYYY TOO CONNECTED.
Good post. 😉
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I think you are right to feel a little weird. Taking a screenshot of your offspring is a little ‘off’. With anything on social media or sent via chat apps people can take screenshots and do with them what they will. I’m sure though that your colleague doesn’t realise that her actions were a little inappropriate. She probably just loves babies. Kinda understandable 🙂
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Yeah it is, can’t knock her for that 😊 Although I still wonder how she would have felt if I did the same? I love the digital world, but sometimes I forget just how fast things can move. 😂
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Wow Tyrone! This post is a work of art as usual, although the catalyst for it is indeed very much troubling. I’m sure as you noted your colleague’s actions were perfectly innocent of any ill intent, but to also know that there are other spirits amongst who have just as much access to our content makes me cringe—and I like to believe I’m pretty well-versed in technosphere security. Thank you for the much needed reminder! and a well-served, pleasantly decorated piece of humble pie. Sending well wishes to you and yours as always!
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I do like the digital age, but it’s strange to think that someone I’ve never met could have access to personal content. Thank you for your kind words 😊
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I agree…My honor!
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You make a great point. And I think with children, people tend to forget about boundaries. They might think it’s okay to download a photo of a co-worker’s kid because their intention is, to them, not a violation of privacy. I completely agree with having discretion in posting pics, as I limit how many pics I post of my two kids.
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I will have to do more of the same. Luckily I don’t post or share to many images of my children either, but I think as parents we have to be more aware of just how fast images can be shared or accessed by total strangers.
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Sadly the main choice is not to share
It’s a valid choice
But it is the only way that you will ever have a semblance of privacy
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So true!
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I feel the same way! It’s wonderful how social media allows us to connect with friends and family who live too far away to see in person, but I do think people overshare. And they don’t really think about the consequences of it, especially if they are younger than 35. This is normal for them. But I would also be taken back if a co-worker was storing a photo of my child on their phone without me personally texting it to her. I guess we all need to be much more careful of what we share on line. (As I keep telling my daughter who posts too many photos of my grandson on her Facebook page….)
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I agree, I think we forget that once a picture is shared, it’s out there forever for any casual stranger to browse or keep. My slight concern is that younger generations will see this as the norm.
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It never occurred to me that someone would save an image of mine to their phone. I would totally understand if one of my relatives saved a photo of our boys, but anyone else I would probably think it was strange
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It is strange! 😂 But what is even stranger is just how “baby obsessed” a casual stranger can become when they see a cute baby! 😂😂😂
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Oh I know, we’ve had people whip out their cameras when they see us out with the boys, I mean at least ask first!
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