Tired Of Being Tired.

 

 

“I’m tired of being wronged and doing right (tired)

Said I’m tired of keeping peace and tired of fighting (tired)

I’m tired of letting go, then holding on (tired)

I’m tired of feeling weak and being strong (tired)”

Kelly Price – Tired

More often than not I write these posts within the warm and comforting embrace of music. Music has this extraordinary way of finding you at just the right time. I clearly remember the night when my first relationship ended and somehow, at that moment, the intuitive programming on the radio played Patti Labelle and Michael McDonalds classic duet “On My Own”.

I fondly recall when I heard the naïve sound of Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” at the exact moment I decided to give up my addiction to Pepsi Max. A special mention must go out to the Pointer Sister’s classic “I’m So Excited” playing on VH1 when I cautiously attempted to remove my first home made Victoria sponge cake from the oven!

I don’t want to divert too far off course for this message; the point being music is such an integral part of my daily grind there is a high probability I will hear a song, chorus, hook or lyric that mirrors how I feel in any given moment.

No matter what your musical preference I am going to turn your attention to a song called “Tired” by R&B songstress Kelly Price. The lyrics of which I used to set the tone for this post, because there is a good reason this song was nominated for best female R&B vocal performance in 2011. Not only did my weary soul feel the gospel tinged delivery but the lyrics of the song hit me at just the right time.

I consider myself a realistic optimist, which means I’m not always as happy as the Pharrell Williams hit might like me to be, but neither do I subscribe to the doom and gloom that mass media and news constantly pummels us with every day.

I know that my actual reality is far different from the distorted, attention grabbing caricature that the media try to portray….but sometimes even grounded optimists like myself get worn down by the everyday grind of life. Overpriced cappuccino’s, transport costs, rent, bills, relationship expectations, societies measure of success and/or achievement, dishes that pile up in the sink…hell even the laundry cries out for me to lift it out of despair and cleanse it with a washing cycle!

On some days I just don’t have the will or inclination to deal with it because…

I’m tired.

But you know what?

That’s okay.

It’s okay to dwell in the swamp of your own blues, it’s okay to look at your smart phone screen and find it intrusive, it’s okay not to want to call back, it’s okay not to fully understand why you feel the way you do when everything is seemingly going well. It’s okay to “feel” those feelings and shed stoic tears and have them freely flow down your face.

I mean, I have no idea why we have emotions, I’m pretty sure it would be far more practical for humanity to run on a soulless battery of procedures and protocols. Yet undeniably we have them, so it makes little or no sense to feel guilty when we access something so integral to our existence.

Now I don’t pretend to have a deeper understanding as to why we experience emotions such as fear, panic, anxiety, depression or even hate…but what I will say is that it must be exhausting to remain in a constant state of eternal happiness!

It’s very likely that these (so called) negative emotions are a result of a human evolutionary necessity? I mean our primitive ancestors didn’t survive on being brave, bold and fearless all the time? Caution, anxiety, fear and yes…even depression…probably help save lives.

By our very nature we are not designed to be totally isolated individuals, so doesn’t it sort of make sense that we would feel and access emotions that allow other humans to tap into their compassion and offer aid and support? Ultimately how would we truly understand the value of life or what happiness has the potential to offer if we don’t access the depths of our emotional reserves.

That being said I am going to take my weary mind, body and soul off to utilise the power of the shower in the hopes that the phoenix effect that I reference in that post takes effect.

I would like to thank Pixar’s Inside Out for fragrantly influencing the writing of this post, I would like to thank the bloggers who allow me access to their reality while providing me with strength and I am forever grateful to anyone attached to music because you have taken your anxiety, pain, emotions and experiences and made me feel I am not alone.

Until next time.

P.S. Kelly Price it’s over to you!