There are some physically gorgeous people in this world.
I mean people so undeniably stunning it’s almost as if they were personally hand crafted and softly kissed by Aphrodite herself. The truth is although it is important to be beautiful on the inside, some people are supremely alluring physical specimens of humanity and there ain’t nothin’ much they can do about it…
I am not one of those people.
Upon reading the previous line please do not take out any violins, I do not need you to play Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber for me, this is not a sorry blog post of woe desperately yearning for a passionate kiss with sympathy, but the facts are…
I was never the man that made women instinctively swoon as I entered the room, I do not have a naturally slim or particularly athletic build, my facial features where not formed by Michelangelo and no one has ever stopped cold in their tracks to behold my beauty. When you live that sort of existence you have no option other than to develop parts of your character as a foundation to attract the affections or attentions of a potential mate.
I attended an all male, single sex high school so my interaction with females was limited to unrequited school boy crushes based on a passing glance of a pretty face. During my adolescence I was out of my depth on the social scene because even back then I noticed girls my age were attracted to the lure of “maturity” older guys seemed to posses.
1989 was more than just the title pop starlet Taylor Swift gave her fifth studio album, it was also the year my thirteen year old self received some heartfelt (slightly misguided) advice from an older boy at high school, who said:
“Women either want a bad boy or someone who is funny, you definitely ain’t a bad boy so if I were you, I would just concentrate on being funny.”
The combination of my socially awkward, shy personality was never going to mix well with an attempt to adopt a gritty, urban street level persona but attempting to be a downgraded version of Eddie Murphy would only produce more disastrous results! I later understood those words to mean that through an unintentional process of elimination I had to find what was “unique to me” if I was ever going to attract anyone romantically.
This did take time because I didn’t have money, celebrity status, academic intelligence, a fast car, the body of Adonis or a visibly outgoing personality but what I did have was the ability to converse with a dash of humour and a hint of confidence, which I was slowly nurturing and developing without consciously being aware of it.
If you get it right, engaging in a good “conversation” enables you to restrain the hands of time. Conversation can be the most powerful tool within your weapons of mass attraction. It is more powerful than Gandalf’s staff, more magical than Tinkerbell’s pixie dust and more sacred than the Holy Grail, Indiana Jones was looking for during his last crusade.
Don’t be put off by mainstream societies obsessional love affair with technology either! Real humans do actually prefer real interactions with their own species. All you need is a genuine inclination to discover the object of your affections through the use of words and silence and it costs you nothing but time well spent.
Conversation isn’t based on having an encyclopaedic knowledge of all things great and small and if you really pay attention to the heartbeat of the conversation listening to the rhythm is just as effective as talking over the beat, however the ability to access, create and contribute to free flowing dialogue has a transformative power that I guarantee will make you more attractive coming out of the conversation than going in.
Until next time.