I’m not a big fan of modern Mariah Carey, however I was deeply in love with the music of early 90’s Mariah Carey, the songs off her early albums were the soundtrack to my life, especially the ballad Love Takes Time, which was the second commercially released single off Mariah’s debut album, which went on to sell 15 million copies worldwide. Love Takes Time is an amazing ballad that was clearly inspired by heartbreak, as there is a line where Mariah sings…

“Love takes time, to heal when you’re hurting so much.”

The emotional impact of heartbreak is something I wouldn’t wish on the enemy of my enemy, although it is an inevitable consequence when taking the bold jump (or tentative step) to love in the first place.  The problem is there is no insurance protection in taking such a step and not even AXA insurance have a policy that can compensate for the emotional damages or loss heartache has a tendency to bring.

There are some charmed individuals who have been lucky enough to have had their hearts pierced by the arrow of Eros just after leaving high school and somehow managed to stay in a fruitful union until their time on earth reached its natural conclusion; but that is as rare as Beyonce not winning a Grammy award for any particular year she releases music.

Losing love takes time to recover from, however finding love can also take a while to discover and nurture with any degree of success. Disney and other Hollywood studios have done an immaculate job at making us believe the conception of true love hits pretty early in life and once we lock into that experience it is destined to bind us to a significant other for eternity…but fortunately for me that hasn’t been the case.

For this post to resonate with both regular and casual readers, I will need your active participation and (for a moment) I need you to imagine I am an ill-equipped solo space explorer on a quest to find a planet I can call home. My preparation for this  adventure is not well thought out and I have no real concept of the magnitude of the journey I am about to undertake…

The first planet I discover is an awesome sight to behold, simply because I never thought I’d find it, although the further I move into its atmosphere the more humid it becomes. No matter how I attempt to acclimatise myself, the severity is so overwhelming I can barely breathe, therefore I have no choice but to leave this habitat and continue my quest to find my personal heartland…

My journey takes me throughout vast quadrants of the galaxy and while some planets are inhabitable, some environments I just can’t harmonise with no matter how hard I try. Some planets created a warm, nurturing environment, while others I found to be extremely volatile and temperamental…

So if we get back to reality and cast aside my space related metaphors, I am in a really great place in my life but that doesn’t make my past relationships invalid. There are no subtle victories to claim because every high and low from every experience has helped mold my malleable personality and cultivate my maturity.

Without a doubt I have made mistakes that have detonated emotional devastation yet somehow I have experienced amicable and respectful departures because all relationships are an individual  journey of discovery. If you are currently in a relationship I make the nonchalant assumption it did not take the best part of two decades to discover?

Perhaps you discovered it a while ago? Or maybe you are still on your quest? Maybe you are in a situation that despite wanting to leave, fear of the vast unfamiliar pulls you back? Maybe you have no personal desire to embark on a grotesquely beautiful form of exploration into the unknown in the first place?

My past invaluable experiences taught me I am responsible for charting my own course which has been a journey that has involved heartbreak, pain, introspection, isolation and taking time out to refuel so that I can finally say that it feels that I have arrived at a destination that feels like home.

Until next time.