Anyone out there who has experienced a relationship knows, there are times when you have to enter intense negotiations…because the reality is no two human beings have exactly the same concept of recreational fun.
As hard as I tried to convince my fiancé to stay home, re-watch classic Marvel movies and eat great tasting snacks with no nutritional value, she suggested it would be best if we went outside to enjoy a rare commodity, known as sunshine and sometimes you’ve just gotta compromise.
Part of the day involved us rockin’ down to Boux Avenue, a women’s lingerie store. A wondrous, perfume-scented, immaculate, slightly “out of my comfort zone” retail experience…
Have you ever been in a situation so alien, you felt like a space explorer who had crash landed on a distant planet? Have you ever been in an environment so unfamiliar all you can do is observe the sights, sounds and smells of such sensationally, surreal surroundings?
We live in a world, where mainstream society desperately yearns to hold us in its loving embrace, and sooth our superficial insecurities. Telling us the conventional image of beauty embraces a range wider than legendary soul singer Patti LaBelle’s vocal ability.
Companies like Aerie (#AerieReal), JC Penny (#HereIAm), Always (#LikeAGirl) Dove (#ChooseBeautiful/#MyBeautyMySay) Nike (#BetterForIt) or Swedish company Monki (#Monkifeesto) have gone out of their way to promote diverse, realistic, three-dimensional representations of women; no matter the age, colour, shape or creed.
But what does any of that mean when I walk into a store and the social change happening outside is not reflected within? It’s a little odd to see mannequins that have physical proportions closer to that of a child than a fully developed woman; if that’s not enough you are also surrounded by images of women whose natural beauty has been subtlety injected with digital enhancements.
It’s totally cool to laugh at my naivety and say to yourself “Oh c’mon Ty! Get with the programme! This is a lingerie store, surely you realise the importance of fantasy, desire and escapism!?”
As a living, breathing comic book nerd I can tell you with great authority; no one appreciates the world of fiction more than I…but perhaps that’s the point? My favourite fictional characters function best within their fictional worlds. In the right context, it is totally believable that a grown man would fight crime in a bat suit, but the reality of that situation is ridiculous at best.
The world I move through tells me on a daily basis, not every woman is a Victoria Secret or Charlie’s Angel. It’s strange to me, that you can walk into a retail outlet that seduces its customers by playing on their insecurities while selling fantasy.
So who do we hold accountable for this?
The obvious candidates are the companies, consumers or society at large, but I don’t think anything I suggest will rock the lingerie industry to its core. Boux Avenue makes about £49.4 million annually…and to be fair…I don’t knock the company for using methods that work, the only responsibility they have is to make money and if images of unattainable perfection help to sell product…
Cool.
It falls to us, the people, to understand that fantasy is just…err…fantasy and images of digitally enhanced perfection are not a part of our everyday physical world. I’m also not using this post as a weak guise to discredit women who naturally have the slender proportions high fashion celebrates and adores, because I have an appreciation and respect for all forms of the human body…but isn’t that the point?
Why not let the media that serves us so poorly hold up a mirror to our actual reality. If you happen to live in a part of the world where everyone is physically assimilated with a similar body type, flawless skin and perfect teeth…
Cool…
But if you happen to live on planet Earth, why can’t we see a few more stretch marks and laughter lines on our mainstream models? Why can’t we experience a visual kaleidoscope of shape, colour and form? While there is no doubt social progress is being made; is it too much to ask that the reality I experience outside, is also reflected within?
The rainbow is more than a metaphor Dorothy used to get to Oz. If you’ve ever seen a rainbow you realise, they are universally loved because the properties of each colour provide contrast and harmony with the other colours. If on the 1984 disco classic, the Weather Girls demanded “Raining Men” It would be nice to walk into a retail space and witness the inclusive brilliance of a diverse “Rainbow of Women”
Until next time.
Illustration by Berlin based illustrator Frenzi. No copyright infringement intended.
Totally agree
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Thank you! 😌
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Reblogged this on Staying healthy isnt a crime-Fitness is a lifestyle choice and commented:
I love his writings 🙂 this is by far one of my favorites. Thank you Ty
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Oh Shay-lon! Are you trying to make this grown man cry! 😂😂😂 Thank you so much! 😊
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Hahaha if it happened, if you did cry, i am impressed and shocked 🙂 and happy! lol if you didn’t you let me down and I am firing you from the blogosphere. lmao. jk
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😂😂😂
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Ty,
I had to reblog this and share this on a couple of my social media platforms because this post by far has been one of the favorites on my list from you. I truly agree, and to be honest, working in the fitness industry, I have taken notice of this myself due to the fact most clients want to change something about themselves due to insecurities or having lost some form of self confidence at some point in life. Whose to blame people? I can understand, because I’d love to look like half the women that I follow on IG , but realistically, my chances would be slim to none due to genetics and possibly not being at their level of commitment — and possibly my drive isn’t that big to begin with to actually go for that “look” in hopes I could be the next “sexy” body plaguing people’s newsfeed. It almost goes back to the whole using filters in hopes it covers our blemishes or what we would perceive flaws that a picture without filters would show.
I guess if stores started using natural pictures without editing and expensive cameras, and expensive photographers with the right price tag on things, they wouldn’t have much of a business — Maybe being natural is not as popular because it means shedding light on what the world really is and nobody wants to live in their reality when their fantasy holds so much more adventure 🙂
Shay-lon
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It’s curious, isn’t it, how we always think that it’s the companies of today or recent times that are manufacturing these images of so-called perfection? While I don’t dispute that they latch on hard to this fantasy so that they can sell more goods, I don’t think it’s all that new. I think back to my mother who always had a thing for pretty lingerie going back to her teens (which were in the 1930s) but, as she said, she didn’t care if anyone ever saw what she was wearing or not -(nd they never did, because she was very old fashioned) it was how it made her feel. Where did she get that idea from, that fancy lingerie was somehow ‘the thing’ to wear? Well, her family were in the rag trade, so there was probably access to fashion magazines, of which there were a lot, even then… and don’t forget the biggest fantasy industry: movies. Look at the silent movies and how they dressed the actresses (and actors) then. Nothing new… so I guess some people do need a fantasy escape route.
And then there’s… spider woman. 😉
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Good point Val! 😂😂😂 There really isn’t anything wrong with using fantasy to sell product.
And like you say this isn’t anything new, but I wouldn’t mind seeing more range. I think the lingerie models of the 30’s and 40’s at least had realistic looking proportions.
Unlike spider woman 😂😂😂
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Fun ! 😄😄🤗🤗
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Thank you! 😌 😌😌
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I absolutely LOVE your take on this! As a woman, it’s been quite the challenge unlearning the unrealistic standards that are set on beauty, appearence, and just life in general. I feel that society is making some steps towards acceptance but we still have a long way to go. A lot of times it’s a real uphill battle, and a discouraging one too. This was refreshing.
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Thank you shelllno! I appreciate your words, as I found it quite tricky to write. Like you…I do believe great progress is being made, however if it could just trickle down more into our everyday that would be great!
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I wholeheartedly agree!
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