I remember watching that scene from High Fidelity and thinking to myself “Yes! Finally someone who understands the art of a music compilation!”

But before I move forward I must take a step back…

With mild amusement I have been reading some of the tips that dating websites offer on how to attract the partner of your dreams. The funny thing is a lot of these sites assume that you will meet that person in a cosmopolitan bar in the chic section of town OR through the latest dating app.

A recent study has suggested that most people meet through, college, work or mutual friends and a significant proportion of relationships start through platonic friendships. Therefore it’s fairly safe to conclude that before someone builds up the courage to make the first move, they have already been in various social situations with the person they either desire or have secretly fallen in love with.

Dating sites seem to imply that you are meeting someone for the “first time” without actually taking into account that you have been hanging around the person you are attracted to for a while now.

So I don’t understand why none the sites have mention the key ingredient in the recipe of a slow and gentle seduction….


Using music as a subtle backdrop will change everything and while I can’t guarantee the shoots of a relationship will sprout, music will create the right external conditions for that seed of affection to expand and grow.

Now you can’t just use any songs! As each song has to melodically support and harmonise with the song that came before. The mistake a lot of people make is that they get too caught up in the lyrics of a song, but in the early stages all you really want to do is focus on complimentary melodies.

This is not an exact science but within your playlist you need to incorporate two key elements:

An original interpretation of a classic song.

An established well known ballad.

While selecting your choice of songs just remember you want to compile an EP length playlist (I’d suggest about 4-6 songs but generally aim for under 30 minutes total running time) if all the music is from the same gene pool that’s totally cool, but if you can find songs from various genres, that will just enhance the flavour of the music a little more….for example:

  1. Amos Lee – Like a Virgin
  1. Sam Smith – Stay With Me
  1. Jojo – Intro
  1. Miguel – Simplethings
  1. Lady Antebellum – Need You Now
  1. Sara Bareilles – Gravity

It’s the hardest thing in the world to limit your favourite songs to just six, but it’s a great discipline. Once you have your collected songs, go burn them on a blank CD or create that playlist and play those songs as the perfect backdrop to create an environment of ease and subtle seduction.

Select the finest songs that mean something and more importantly, take your time and enjoy the process because there is power in that playlist.

Until next time.