It just wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t mention the Hookup Cultures post The Art Of Taking It Slow because the post touches on themes that I also subscribe to, especially on the advantages of the conceptual “slow burn” in relationships, however I wanted to expand upon the notion by sharing my own perception of this concept.
My love life has been a series of accidental mishaps and unintentional errors but I can tell you with certainty that I have never looked for love, because where exactly do you go to find it? Can you download it from an app and swipe right to find the person of your dreams? Do you dress up, go to a cosmopolitan bar and beam a smile bright enough to dazzle a potential mate? Or do you sign up to Match.com in the hopes that you have entered mutually compatible criteria?
I don’t knock any of the methods mentioned, I know a couple who met through the visual kaleidoscope of Instagram, so my net is wide open for an individual to explore every possible opportunity or circumstance that feels right.
But do you know what worked for me?
I know, crazy right!? Because of all the tips and methods you find within the wild west of Google search results, no dating site mentions starting a blog is one possible avenue you can walk and take pride in your stride.
I’m no relationship expert, as I only have my body of experience to draw from, but I have found that a “slow burn” approach has worked better than any clichéd conventional methods…
I have never needed to use chat up lines, my confidence was never alcohol infused and fortunately I’ve never had to apply excessive amounts of my favourite overpriced cologne. I’ve somehow managed to find love without attempting to acquire it as a commodity or trying to pack my love life into a convenient time line (with more failures than successes I might add!)
I’ve tended to meet the subjects of my affections through gradual exposure, enhanced by time; in other words it’s usually been through mutual friends while at college or university, a person that lived in my local neighbourhood or work environments which allowed organic feelings to breathe and casual familiarity to grow.
That was the case in my current relationship and part of my unintentional seduction was that my beautiful girlfriend (who was just a friend at the time) was exposed to the very same content you are also reading from…and while some could argue that it would put off a potential lover…this blog done something that other methods of attraction did not allow…
It gave me some depth…
It provided a deeper insight into my thought process that casual lunchtime conversation didn’t allow, but more importantly my musings provided a “Captain James T. Kirk” effect and provided another enterprise that could be explored.
Blogging is treated like a Javier Bardem acting performance, in that it always gets overlooked by the mainstream but constantly produces amazing insight and quality. So if you are still on a quest to find that special someone just remember time is not your enemy and easing into the warm company over a slow burn can be just as effective as fast intensity…and on the assumption that you aren’t already, why not give blogging a try?
Until next time.